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On the phone All Categories > People > On the phone
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Seagulls? Yeah, I'm in Canarsie
Weasel on cell: I'm in Brooklyn now, so it will have to wait until later...
--Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Local
Nah, Meg Ryan's Face Just Looks That Way
Excited teenage girl on cell: Dude, that's so beat!
--Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Tim
This Is Where You Realize That's What I've Always Been
Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
--Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Besides, She's Nine
Girl on phone with guy friend: You know, my sister just got her tits done for her birthday... I don't want you fucking her.
--Jones Beach, New York
Not Since That Elevator in New York!
Guy on cell: That was the first time I shit my pants in a while!
--Salem, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura Wilson
But Then, So Have I
Man on cell: I know -- she's been a proper cunt since she got cancer.
--Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales
Overheard by: Withy
We've Tested the Law in Court
Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can't bring your kids here and let them swim naked... What? Yes, Julia, it's illegal.
--51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader
... Hello? ... Hello?
Dude on cell: So, how did that thing with the executioner go?
--Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Russ
I Just Said It Would Make Me Happy
Man on cell: Well, I didn't explicitly tell him to kill himself...
--Santa Cruz Boardwalk, California
No Longer My Favorite Sacrament
Dude on cell: I don't think the marriage thing is going to work... Why? Because I'm already married!
--Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Well, Do You Have a Gerbil and a Teeny Tiny Miner's Hat?
Guy on cell, sighing: What are you gonna do, y'know? I mean, besides putting a flashlight in your vagina... Too bad.
--Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: TK
Tonight's Movie: She Cloned Hitler
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
--Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
So I'm Tighter with Radiohead Than with You!
Man on cell: We met at a bar and went on one date... You don't even know me! You haven't even seen my MySpace page!
--Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Greg
Unless You're Monty Python
Dude on cell: Falling in love with me and sitting on my face are two completely different things.
--Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Matyis
His Wife Split with It
Man on cell: What? What's up with the banana skirt? How come I don't get a banana skirt?
--Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
You Mean 'Danger' in Your Vagina... And How Did You Know I Called It That?
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight... that sounds good... I won't do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
--Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
She Ain't a Lady Either
Woman on phone: It's been so long since I have gone out on a date, I think I've forgotten what it feels like to be a woman.
4-Year-Old son, indignantly: You ain't a woman! You're my mother!
--Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Catherine
Now You Know How the Anteater Feels
Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they'll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.
--Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Harell
The Traffic Lets Up, But Breathing Becomes Difficult
Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left...Yes, the freeway ends....Because the continent ends, dipshit.
--Hermosa Beach, California
She May Have Gotten His Cell Phone Wet
Woman on cell: No, it wasn't a yeast infection. It's not a fishy smell, and I have cramps. I never get cramps!... Yeah...Maybe that's why he's not calling me back.
--Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Kimmie David
I'm Under the Sun.....Now
Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?
--Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Antzolino
Fast and the Furious 4: Barnyard Slide
Chick on cell: Yeah, we got a ticket for going 80 miles per hour on the way here, though. Wanna know why? We were trying to catch up to a giant truck full of chickens!
--Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
A New Dimension to the Walk of Shame
Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I'm leaving before he sees the blood.
--Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: buddy
Today's Forecast: Dawn of Self-Awareness Hidden by Clouds of Stupidity
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us... No... Rubber? A douchebag? I've heard that before.
--Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
The Marketing Director Advises Santa's Purchasing Elf
Girl on cell: Dude, you could buy a whole bag full of dildos, and he would never know.
--Oceanside, California
Overheard by: groovychica
