Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Parents All Categories > People > Parents
Recent | Best Of
Subcategories: Dads | Moms | Preggers |
Another Great Time-Killer? "Pregnant or Fat?"
Daughter: Sorry I'm late.
Mom: That's okay. We were playing 'Tourist or not?' with the passersby. Look -- those two -- obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play 'Jew or not?' when I get bored.
--Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Jew tourist
Cher Is My Mom -- This Fall on Lifetime
Teen girl: My ribs are so big!
Mom: You can blame your father for that.
Dad: Your ribs are fine.
Teen girl: They look like a second set of boobs!
Dad: They look fine.
Mom: You know, you can get surgery to have some of them removed.
--Belmar, New Jersey
We Raised Him Free Range
Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn't stop after she warns him repeatedly.
Woman: I'm going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?
--Marmaris Beach, Turkey
Britney and K-Fed in Five Years
Drunk mother: So, do... When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight... What the fuck is that kid's name...?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell...? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You're holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.
--Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia
This Old Thing?
Guy wearing "World's Best Dad" shirt: Hey, honey, where's Sadie?
Wife: You're holding Sadie!
--Wakulla Springs, Florida
Because She's Already Too Smart For Cornell
Dad: What grows in the marsh, baby?
Little girl: Marshmallows?
Dad, to mom: You want her to go to what college?
--Tybee Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Sullivan
