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Here's Some Chapstik
Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You're younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.
--Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: anna
At Least She Went Top-Shelf
Redneck lady coming out of a liquor store: She must have been drunk when she named her kid "Jose Cuervo".
--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
You Can't Seriously Expect Frank to Give Up a Possible Bite Just to Save Someone
Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing -- I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.
--Holland State Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Townie
Wait, Octopus Flavor?
Redneck spring breaker ordering from ceviche stand: Lemme try some of that shave-ice.
--South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Bet he didn't like it
We Should Stop Settling for Prunes
Fat redneck girl: You know what I wanted last night? A plum!
Skinny redneck guy: Me, too! Last night after me and you got in that fight, all I kept thinking about was how I wanted me a big, juicy plum!
--Navarre Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Wendy
So Much for the 'Little Black Dress You Can Wear Anywhere'
Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?
--Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico
Overheard by: sheila
It's the Ashes of Dead Mouseketeers
Redneck mother: Where'd all this sand come from?
Redneck daughter: Disney, probably.
--Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Angela Cimato
