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But Since It's Me, I Know I'm Just Lazy
University of Miami girl: If I wasn't me, I'd think I was stupid.
--Miami Beach, Florida
At 40, after Three Failed In-Vitros, Kassidy Was to Remember This Conversation
Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?
--Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
We'll Just Follow Him Up the Food Chain to the Bigger Fish That Are His Suppliers
Professor: Are you guys working or just following a stingray?
Student #1: Working!
Student #2: Um...
Student #3: Both.
Professor: Both?
Student #3: We're using the stingray to randomly decide where to take our next sample. They eat invertebrates -- it's like a divining rod!
--Fergie Shoals, Florida
Overheard by: Justification is for the geeky
Hope You're Studying up for Thursday's Dung-Flinging Quiz
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: ... Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
--Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There's nothing like lab in the field
It Was America's Funniest Home Intercourse
College chick on cell: I'm like, 'Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can't I have dreams like I used to... Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?'
--Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
This Pick-Up Line Works Better with His Own Sex
Duke guy: Have you read Rebecca?
Duke girl: Of Sunnybrook Farm?
--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
It's Actually Her Roommate in a JonBenet Costume
College girl: Stop hitting on the nine-year-old, and let's leave!
--Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
But are You Any Good in the Clutch?
Co-ed: But the book wasn't even that long, and I drive stick, so I can really handle my phallic symbols.
--Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Liz Burrin
Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
--Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
