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How They Make the World's Most Expensive Coffee
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn't eat them, I think they came out of someone's rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
--Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
Bad Things Happened When He Tried to Polish It
Worried surfer: I've been out here four hours and my knob still hasn't changed color!
--Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
Is That Where Tsunamis Come From?
Surfer: It's questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He'd fuck people up, that's what He'd do!
--Shell Beach, California
Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Hey, I'm Not Giving Up My Good-Luck Marmoset
Stoned surfer #1: Sharks never attack people unless you, like, swim around with a bloody, severed leg tied around your neck.
Stoned surfer #2: Yeah, or like a severed arm or a dead monkey or something.
--Bolinas, California
And Then They Shot Him
Skateboarding surfer to six Hasidic Jews: Hey! Cowboys!
--Ventnor City, New Jersey
Overheard by: walking on the other side
The Suit Hurts and You're Abusive -- This Is the Best S&M Club Ever
Japanese tourist #1 with wet suit on backwards: Hello!
Local surfer: You speak English?
Japanese tourist #2: Yes, yes!
Local surfer: Good. Get the fuck out of here!
--The Hook, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Chrissy
And You Thought It Was Just Rat Parts
Surfer dude: Dude, you just don't know how long a foot is until you see it in a hot dog.
--Mission Bay Beach, San Diego, California
And She's Always Blabbing to My Wife
Cute surfer: So, how's it going? Did you go out with her again?
Really cute surfer: Oh, no, she's traveling, but I'm waiting for her to come back.
Cute surfer: You're really into her, right? I thinks she's hot.
Really cute surfer: Yeah, she's amazing.
Cute surfer: Have you, like, talked to her about going out again?
Really cute surfer: Yeah, kinda... [Looking away and waving] Hey, dude, stop talking about it. My girlfriend is coming.
Cute surfer: Oh, okay [smiles and waves to girl].
--Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: And I thought he was cute
Hey, Wasn't That Your Foot?
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn't let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
--Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn't think it was hilarious then or now
It's Never Too Early for Internet Porn
Little boy: Hey! What's your name?
Little girl walking along shore doesn't look at him.
Little boy: Hey! What's your name?!
Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.
Little boy: What's your name?! What's your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It's Jade.
Mother whispers to girl and points in boy's direction, but girl continues walking in other direction.
Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older.
--Pomano Beach, Florida
Thus Ousted, the Crackhead Went to Yale and Ran for President
Crackhead: Yeah, I'm kind of known around here as the sheriff of the North Shore.
Local guy: Yeah? Well, then I'm the mayor.
Passing Australian surfer: I want to be prime minister.
--Sunset Beach, Oahu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jehan
