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Something Is Making Me Uncomfortable
Boston woman in her late 50s: ... And it's not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse... It's so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen?
--Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: KP
I'd Never Forgive Myself If They Dented a Lexus
Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.
--St Avalon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Himbo
Wait for It...
Woman to husband, watching the sunset: Why doesn't the sun ever set in front of the clouds?
--Pacific Grove, California
Overheard by: never enough sunscreen
He's Kinda Gone Off Me Since He Broke My Seal
Guy #1: What I can't understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official's salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don't have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won't even use a bottle of ketchup if it's already been opened.
--Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
No, Let's Talk More about the Cheese
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm...
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That's Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I'm from Minnesota.
--Virginia Beach
What about That Guy Standing behind You Right Now Licking Your Asshole?
Woman #1: I haven't had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn't count, because I don't enjoy it.
--Brittany Beach, France
