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Yeah, Until It Melts
Teen girl #1: Hey, you can have some of my Coke if you want.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, thanks [sips]. Ugh, it has ice. I'm allergic to ice.
Dude: Oh my god, really? You're allergic to ice?!
--Sydney, Australia
Oh, Jessica, and Just When You'd Mastered That 'Chicken of the Sea' Thing
Woman: I'm starving! Let's go get something at Burger King.
Friend: So am I. Hey, did you know that Burger King sells veggie burgers? I just found that out the other day.
Woman: Really? Veggie burgers? What do they use? Like, turkey?
--Panama City Beach, Florida
I Already Asked
Mom: You're drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it's not like they're going to let me drive the boat.
--Cruise ship, Bahamas
The Day of the Mom-and-Pop Brothel Has Passed
Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends...
Husband: Yeah... If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I'd be pulling mad Oriental ass.
--Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: lora
We Talk of Many Things
Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I'm great! How are you?
Woman #1: I'm great! How's your walrus?
Woman #2: Oh, he's fine. I'm keeping him in my living room.
--Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Kraemer
But Then I Stopped Pretending
Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.
--Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida
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