She Says We Got Married

College girl on cell: Last night? I don't remember what happened last night! All I know is I woke up naked spooning with Claire!

--Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: The Classy Girls Vacation in Jersey

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

At the Stupid Human Tricks Semifinals

Man to family: You should have seen her! She was pooping sandcastles!

--Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

So Much for the 'Little Black Dress You Can Wear Anywhere'

Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?

--Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico

Overheard by: sheila

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Still, This Is an Improvement on Their Last Appearance

Hoochie to friends: Okay, girls, our goal for this weekend is to not end up on the Internet again.

--South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Ladle

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

The Worst Kind of Hagriculture

Hoochie on cell: Calvin? No, that guy is a walking STD farm. I wouldn't fuck him with Paris Hilton's pussy!

--Coney Island, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Awww, You're Sweet. No, I'm 30

Little girl: Grandma, you're old!
Grandma: How old do you think I am, sweetie?
Little girl: I dunno... like, 16, or something.

--Wilmington, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Read the Previous Week's Quotes!