The Exact Moment It All Stops Being about the Kids

Toddler grumpily trudging through the sand: Change my diaper!

--Island Park State Beach, New Jersey

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Posted 2007-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Get It Drunk and It'll Do Both at the Same Time

Passenger: Excuse me, sir, but does that staircase go up or down?
Crew member: Yes.

--Boarding a cruise ship

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Posted 2007-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

She Told Me She Got That from a Rough-Trade Escort!

Kid #1: [Inaudible.]
Kid #2: That's the noise your mom made when I punched her in the eye with my dick.

--Beach restroom, Grand Haven, Michigan

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

A Portrait of the Coach As a Young Man

Eight-year-old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.

--Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ashley

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

A Nice One, for Daddy

Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I'm going to build a jail!

--Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Pale Kid

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Also a Spare Key

Teen boy to friend: Don't trust women -- they have vaginas. It's where they keep all their secrets and lies!

--Coney Island, New York

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Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

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