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Oh, Tommy Lee, They Can See Your Penis from Space
Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well...
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?
--Flagler Beach, Florida
Overheard by: the nearest sunbather
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Old black lady finishes pooping and flushes: Oh, thank you, Jesus! [Hums gospel tune.]
--Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lauren
Unless You're Monty Python
Dude on cell: Falling in love with me and sitting on my face are two completely different things.
--Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Matyis
If You Were to Fill a Hat with Ice Cream...
Blonde: If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be?
Redhead: Um...
Blonde: Well, you are what you eat. You can be monkey fudge!
Redhead: What?!
Blonde: Oh, wait, I mean Chunky Monkey. I'm making fun of your husband!
Redhead: You know, I'm the one drinking here.
Blonde: If you were any hat, what would you be?
Redhead: No.
--Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jenn
I Found That Out the Hard Way
College chick eating chocolate rice pudding: It kinda looks like poop, but it's so yummy!
Drunk girl: Don't eat poop. It's not good for you.
--Majesty of the Seas cruise ship
How the Marsden Family Ended Up Sold into Cambodian White Slavery
Tourist looking across bay: Is that Hawaii?
Passerby: Yeah. There's a boat that comes by every half hour to bring people there.
Tourist: Thanks. Hey, honey! We're going to Hawaii!
--Wharf, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: El Blingo
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