Blonde: Hey, what time is it?
Redhead: Real time or pretend time?
Blonde: You told me you changed your phone over already, so just tell me what it says!
Redhead: 4:03.
Blonde: So it's only three o'clock in my head still...
Redhead: I offered to tell you pretend time!
Blonde: But I wanted to do the math myself!
--Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jenn
Sketchy salesman: Hey, pretty ladies!
American girls: [Ignore him.]
Sketchy salesman: Stop being so American! That's why you're single!
--Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Overheard by: PlayaChicas
Frat boy #1: Dude, look! A sea enema!
Frat boy #2: Dumbass, it's sea a-nenema.
Frat boy #1: Fuck. My bad.
--Sunset Bay, Oregon
Overheard by: Ahkuah Mahn
Man at parents' 25th wedding anniversary party: Without my parents, I don't know where I'd be today.
Random guest: In a Kleenex!
--Party boat, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Big Larry
Queer: ... And when he finished on my ass he said, 'Hold on,' and took a step backward and did a back flip!
--St. Augustine Beach, Florida
Mom to young son sliding down wooden handrail: Charlie! Did someone get a splinter in his butt?
--Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sarabeth and Jesse