Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Guess How I'd Shift Gears
Guy #1: Okay, dude -- if you could, which one of us would you sleep with?
Queer, looking back and forth, then staring at Guy #2: I have been dreaming of sitting on your face and using your ears as bicycle pedals...
Guy #2: Uh... What?
--Papas and Beer, Ensenada, Mexico
Overheard by: Alcaeus
And Well on Her Way to Ruining Them with Sun Exposure and Heroin
Teen girl: I guess she has nice boobs, but they're almost too nice.
Teen boy: Hey, give her a break. She's only 13.
--Spofford Lake, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Nadia
Hell Is Other People Like You
Dude: Yo, that guy's Asian as hell!
--Nag's Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: alxie
I Miss My Gills, Though
Four-year-old girl: Hey, remember when I used to be afraid of air?
--West River, Brattleboro, Vermont
So I'm Tighter with Radiohead Than with You!
Man on cell: We met at a bar and went on one date... You don't even know me! You haven't even seen my MySpace page!
--Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Greg
If No Elevator Is Available, I'd Like to Be Carried on a Litter
Puerto Rican princess: Hey! Hey, you - Mr. Captain or whatever.
Steward: Yes, ma'am?
Puerto Rican princess: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
Steward: Excuse me?
Puerto Rican princess: Where is the elevator that goes to the front of the ship?
Random passenger: Someone throw her overboard now and put her out of my misery.
--Caribbean Cruise, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: also waiting for elevator
Read the Previous Week's Quotes!
