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Every Four-Year-Old Knows a Teenager Like This
Four-year-old camper: Do you got a car?
14-year-old counselor: Uh, I can't drive.
Four-year-old camper: So does your mom bring you here?!
14-year-old counselor: Yeah. I mean, I live in El Cerrito.
Four-year-old camper: But does that mean you live with your mom or something? Aren't you in college?!
14-year-old counselor: Well, the truth is my license was revoked after I ran over those aliens. The FBI was angry because they needed to talk to them about the plans for the United States embassy on Mars, but it has to be kept hush-hush since the North Koreans may be on to them.
Four-year-old camper: Ohhh...
--California
Oh, Britney Spears, You Wacky Scamp
Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I'm not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They're going to know it's fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh... There's people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don't care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans... I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He's three months old, without a father...
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I'm so sorry...
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh...
Girl from stall: It's alright. Have a nice night.
--Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Awkward...
Um, Actually, It's Yours
Meathead: I'm sick of drama, and I'm sick of people coming down and crashing at my beach house. It's so annoying when people just use my stuff. Can I have some of your water?
--Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
My Money's on the One with the Thick Brow
Yuppie #1, trying to take over occupied bonfire: It's okay -- we just have to wait for them to light themselves on fire.
Yuppie #2: Yeah, it's like evolution.
--Dockweiler Beach, California
Tonight's Movie: She Cloned Hitler
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
--Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
Knowledge Just Interferes with the Wonder of It All
Chick #1: You can see Venezuela on a clear day from here.
Chick #2: Really?! I would love to go to Venezuela -- I hear it's a really nice island.
Chick #1: Um... Island as in South America...?
Chick #2: It's right off of South America, right?
Chick #1: I guess you should have paid attention in geography class.
Chick #2: What does math have to do with it?
--Aruba
Overheard by: Erin from New York
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