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We Should Stop Settling for Prunes
Fat redneck girl: You know what I wanted last night? A plum!
Skinny redneck guy: Me, too! Last night after me and you got in that fight, all I kept thinking about was how I wanted me a big, juicy plum!
--Navarre Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Wendy
The Goldilocks Tale Gets a Strange and Wonderful Retelling
Young boy: This water's too cold for one of my privates!
--Cunningham Falls, Maryland
I Thought That Was an Extension of Your Neck-Fat
Fat black girl running in bikini: Yo, bitch, why you didn't tell me my titty was hangin' out?! Shit!
Innocent, spooked bystander girl: What?!
Fat black girl running in bikini: Never mind, bitch!
--Brighton Beach, New York
Some Carousels Are More Intense Than Others
Girl: I would have stayed on longer, but my swimsuit was on one ankle!
--Madison Lake, Minnesota
Hint: They Move and Have Little Claws
Italian girl: So, um... How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I'm not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something...
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!
--Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: jerseygirl
We'll Have to Try One of Those Sporting Goods Stores Like in Commando
Lady exiting 7-Eleven: Honey, they don't have any flamethrowers in there!
--Nags Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: matthew
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