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Naked. Like Now.
Frat boy #1: How did Steve squeeze past the crowd and order drinks so fast?
Frat boy #2: Oh, he takes yoga classes.
--South Beach bar, Miami, Florida
You're Kind of Creeping Me Out
Mom telling young son to hold her hand: I just love you so much I can't let go.
Little boy: You don't have to love me that much.
--Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: local onlooker
Still Think the Media Is to Blame for Obesity and Violence?
Mom: Hey, Jason! I'll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That's like... eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he's trying to hit them with rocks!
--South Haven, Michigan
You Always Remember Your Slow Summer Friends
Kid in wave pool, to friend: No, you gotta jump up into the waves. Jump! Jump! No, jump up, not down!
--Splish Splash, Long Island, New York
Cosmo Tip: Your Slutty Friends Can Help You Advertise!
Chick to whispering friend: You shaved down there so he could stick his tongue in you?!
--Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Marg
Grandma's Are Normally Constrained by Twin Haversacks
Teen girl: He saw some girl's boobs.
Father: Did you see some girl's boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Did you see some girl's boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Were they as big as Grandma's?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
--Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: hc
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