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He Finds You
Kid #1: Mama, have you seen the bad guy?
Mom: Not today.
Kid #1: Is he here?
Mom: I don't think so, no.
Kid #2: Where is he?
Mom: Well, if you don't look for him, you're not gonna find him!
--Malibu, California
Overheard by: Jessica B.
Mmm, Freedomlicious!
Teen girl: Why are there feathers, like, all around our blankets?
Teen boy: Because I just ate a fucking bald eagle and enjoyed it.
--Horseneck Beach, Westport, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bologna Sandwich
Still Think Sex Ed Belongs in the Home?
Dad to child about whale bone on display: They got that from Cape Cod's biggest peregrine falcon monkey. It's one of the teeth.
--Wellfleet Bay Audubon Center, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anatomist Wannabe
A Very "Special" School
Dad: It's all about the Benjamins?
Son: Who's Benjamin?
Dad: He's the president on the hundred dollar bill. He was the third president of the United States. You'd know that if you were in private school like I was.
--Zuma Beach, Malibu, California
Overheard by: Danielle
Her Friends Call Her "Inconvenient Ruth"
Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency!
--Wellfleet, Massachusetts
... Hello? ... Hello?
Dude on cell: So, how did that thing with the executioner go?
--Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Russ
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