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I Went Through a Year of That after My Balls Went on Prozac
Girl: Oh my god, the water is so cold! I think my vagina is numb.
Guy: I hate when that happens.
--Grand Haven, Michigan
Overheard by: Lisa
It's the Most Fun I've Had Since Becoming a Grandfather
Dude #1: So yeah, she got pretty pissed 'cause we were eating all her food.
Dude #2: That sucks. She's a bitch.
Dude #1: Yeah, but then we found the peanut butter -- dude, it was like we just struck gold! And then we spread it all over her bookshelf.
Dude #2: Nice!
Dude #1: Yeah, it was awesome.
--Spring Lake, New Jersey
It's Not Channel Ocho?
Man: Honey, I don't think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here...
Wife: We're in fuckin' Mexico!
--Mexican cruise
Overheard by: Lydia
I'll Just Go Back to Calling Her Fat
Mother to toddler: Baby, don't cough like that. People are going to think you have TB, and then no one will want to be your friend! [To friend] I probably shouldn't tell her that, should I?
Friend: Probably not. You're going to give her a complex.
Mother: Shit.
--Panama Beach, Florida
I Might Use Nair. We'll See.
Guido hitting on underage girls: I'm gonna go home and shave my tits, and then we're having a house party.
--Rockaway Beach, New York
Soon I'll Be Too Tired to Ask My Wife to Jerk Me Off
Middle-aged guy #1: I'm gettin' old, buddy.
Middle-aged guy #2: We're all gettin' old.
Middle-aged guy #1: Yeah, but first I was just gettin' too tired to have sex, so I was jerkin' off a lot. Now I'm too tired to even jerk off.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shut up. You're getting me depressed.
--Boardwalk, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
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