Could the World Continue in My Absence?

14-year-old boy, looking at tide chart: Dude, I don't get it! High tide is at 9:55 p.m., but this place closes at eight!

--Crescent Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Kevin and Elissa

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Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

There Were Pictures of Some Fat Chick on Her Myspace, but She's Thin, So It's Cool

Chick #1: I can't put these pictures on MySpace! I look fat!
Chick #2: I'll put them on MySpace. I'm a skinny bitch.

--Jones Beach, New York

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Posted 2007-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Did He Just Tackle That Manatee?

Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.

--Oscoda, Michigan

Overheard by: Kate

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Posted 2007-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

And Then She Loses Jewelry!

Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.

--Crane Beach, Massachusetts

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Posted 2007-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Then What'll We Use to Sand the Boat?

Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don't want my butt to get parched.

--Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Kara

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Posted 2007-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Well, God Is Pretty Old

Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!

--Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey

Overheard by: I Put on More SPF

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Posted 2007-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

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