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This Stuff Coming Out of Me Is Bad News, Then
Hungover fat chick: You mean, I didn't have sex last night?
Hungover skinny chick: Nope.
Hungover fat chick: I could have sworn I had sex with somebody last night...
Hungover skinny chick: Nope.
--Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: glinda
NewsFlash: Toddler Gets Eyes Pecked Out. "Deserved It," Sources Say.
Three-year-old girl using towel as a cape and chasing seagull: I'm prettier than you! I'm prettier than you!
--Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: you're very tan
Please Explain How
Man in skirt to bald woman: Seriously... Marijuana-fueled cars. It'd be great! Everyone would be high, and we'd have clean air!
--Avon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tomatilla
Introducing, the Most Articulate Man in New Jersey
Italian guy about cars with undercarriage lights: Look at these shitheads with the fucking shit on their fucks!
--Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: quazarfreez
Shark: This Job Just Keeps Getting Harder
Blonde: Oh my god, I've been watching 'Shark Week' on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don't know how I'd live without my hands. I'd rather have the shark bite off my arm.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
NewsFlash: Viagra and Headboards Spell Disaster
Tourist mom on cell: He's not gonna be brain damaged! It wasn't my fault -- it was only two hours!
--Point Pleasant Boardwalk, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
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