Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
If You Had a Really Good Telescope, You Could See Our Backs
Drunk wedding guest: Hey, cool! I wonder what bay that is...
Sober guest: Uh, that's the Atlantic Ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: Are you sure? It looks too calm to be an ocean.
Sober guest: We're as far East as you can get in New Jersey. That's the ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: I think it's some sort of bay.
Sober guest: There's no land on the other side! It's the ocean!
--Sea Bright, New Jersey
Overheard by: I looked at the map
I Mean, Short and Stout? Daaamn.
Thug carrying baby strapped to chest: Yo, those lyrics were fucked up, man!
Asian gangsta: Word.
--Bondi Junction, Sydney, Australia
We'll Just Follow Him Up the Food Chain to the Bigger Fish That Are His Suppliers
Professor: Are you guys working or just following a stingray?
Student #1: Working!
Student #2: Um...
Student #3: Both.
Professor: Both?
Student #3: We're using the stingray to randomly decide where to take our next sample. They eat invertebrates -- it's like a divining rod!
--Fergie Shoals, Florida
Overheard by: Justification is for the geeky
Surely There Is an Establishment with That Name
Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y'know, Friday afternoon -- just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um...
Professor #2: The sand bar.
--Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: I love my major.
See the Colossus of Rhodes?
Tourist: So, what's on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that's not a lake -- that's the Atlantic Ocean.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Communism Is Difficult to Swallow
Father to small child: Is that from China? Get that out of your mouth!
--Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Read the Previous Week's Quotes!
