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They're Like Susan Sarandon That Way
Girl: I used to have a Shih-Tzu. Cutest dog ever.
Boy: Yeah, my friend has one, and this Doberman mutt thing. It's weird, 'cause they were playing with each other and its eyeball fell out.
Girl: What?!
Boy: Yeah. They took it to the vet and he was like, 'Oh, yeah, that happens a lot.'
--Lake Conroe, Texas
That's Not in the Brochure
Gangsta teen wannabe: Damn, son, check that ho!
Little brother: Which one?
Gangsta teen wannabe: The one with the splat-tat and the muffin top.
Little brother: Daaamn!
Gangsta teen wannabe: Maybe she'll bend over and show some slut crack.
Mom, studying tourist info: What?
--Cannery Row, Monterey, California
Overheard by: gt6driver
Just Pretend You're Asleep in Bed, Honey
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up!
--Bethany Beach, Delaware
Not Smart Enough to Capitalize on Free Pussy
Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What's that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It's a test I need to take to get my Master's. [Bimbette looks confused.] It's like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you're, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]
--St. Pete Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL
Lamarck: The Evidence I Was Waiting For!
Girl: That big lady across the room is staring at you again. You know she thinks you're hot -- I bet she's picturing you naked right now.
Guy, rubbing his nipples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she's gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kidding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach below her knees.
--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
What to Wear to a Tattooing, by Emily Post
Chick getting tattoo on her foot: That hurts!
Guy tattoo-ing her: It wouldn't hurt so much if you weren't wearing tie-dye.
--Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
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