Which Was Good, because I Didn't

Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, 'cause, like, she's Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, 'Whoa!' But then I told them I'm half-Jewish, so they understood.

--Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts

Overheard by: i burn and i'm not


Posted 2007-12-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Funny, She Says the Same Thing About You

Teen boy to friend: Shit, if I had known that there would be so many hot women on this beach, I'd never have taken my girlfriend with me!

--Pärnu, Estonia, Europe


Posted 2007-12-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Not Since That Elevator in New York!

Guy on cell: That was the first time I shit my pants in a while!

--Salem, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Laura Wilson


Posted 2007-12-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then Where Do They Keep Their Cigarettes?

Man: In Europe, all little children are naked.

--Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: I heard about that


Posted 2007-12-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

God: Let Me Check My List....

Jehovah's witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah's witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin' Bible! Stop talking like that!

--Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: collin


Posted 2007-12-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Next: Why Apples Float When You Drop Them

Pompous failed astronomer: So, the reason there was a half moon last night was that the Earth gets in between the sun and the moon [arranges water bottles to demonstrate]. It's kind of like an eclipse, but the Earth only covers half the moon, so you see the rest.
Chick: Oh, okay. Interesting.
Pompous failed astronomer: It's really just thinking logically. Something has to cast a shadow on the moon.

--Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: not the only one laughing at him


Posted 2007-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook


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