Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, 'cause, like, she's Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, 'Whoa!' But then I told them I'm half-Jewish, so they understood.
--Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i burn and i'm not
Teen boy to friend: Shit, if I had known that there would be so many hot women on this beach, I'd never have taken my girlfriend with me!
--Pärnu, Estonia, Europe
Guy on cell: That was the first time I shit my pants in a while!
--Salem, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura Wilson
Man: In Europe, all little children are naked.
--Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: I heard about that
Jehovah's witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah's witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin' Bible! Stop talking like that!
--Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: collin
Pompous failed astronomer: So, the reason there was a half moon last night was that the Earth gets in between the sun and the moon [arranges water bottles to demonstrate]. It's kind of like an eclipse, but the Earth only covers half the moon, so you see the rest.
Chick: Oh, okay. Interesting.
Pompous failed astronomer: It's really just thinking logically. Something has to cast a shadow on the moon.
--Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: not the only one laughing at him