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Though I'm Great at Sucking Bodily Fluids
Boy: Can I ask you something? If you were a vampire, what would you do?
Teen girl #1: I'd eat someone's blood.
Teen girl #2: I'd do the same.
Teen girl #3: Well, I wouldn't be here 'cause I would die! Thank God I'm not a vampire!
--Jones Beach, New York
Would You Terribly Mind Bubble-Wrapping the Car?
Lady on cell: Hello? I need to get a spare tire put on... Yes, the BMW -- my son's car. Well, I'm not actually sure what tire it is. See, my son's the one with the flat. He's a few blocks from home, and he has his own AAA number, but he said he called and he got the automated menu, and he got confused. He's only 20, and-- [pause, then] --Yes, I guess I do coddle him...
--Malibu, California
Overheard by: Danielle
She's at the Great Beach in the Sky, Sweetie
Foreign single father: So, are you guys having fun at the beach?
Son: Actually, yeah -- it's fun.
Foreign single father: Next time, have positive attitude from the start.
Son: No, that was 'cause before when you said, 'Let's go to the beach,' I thought we were gonna visit Mom.
--Lake Erie, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: native english speaker
Go with the Penis! The Penis!
Boy to girl, behind trees: I'm running out of things to put in there!
--St. George Island, Florida
Overheard by: Shocked and disturbed
Wanna See Me Make It Dance?
Bikini #1: Duuude, your birthmark has gotten bigger...
Bikini #2: That's because my thigh has gotten bigger.
--The Hamptons, New York
Can't Figure 'em Out?
Bimbette: My nipples are hard.
--Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canadia
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