Or Worse, in the Crushing Boredom of Marriage

Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I'm sorry...
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It's all gonna end in tears!

--Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Higgins

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Posted 2008-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Like You Hate the Mailman When Daddy's Away?

Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that's why.

--Children's Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings

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Posted 2008-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

The Discovery Channel's "Seaweed Week" Failed to Catch On

20-ish girl to sister: I think a shark just brushed up against my foot! [Everyone nearby stares.] Oops. I think I said that a little loud. False alert, everyone -- it was just some seaweed!

--Clearwater Beach, Florida

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Posted 2008-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

My Ass Is Going into Toxic Shock

Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!

--Jones Beach, New York

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Posted 2008-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Besides, She's Nine

Girl on phone with guy friend: You know, my sister just got her tits done for her birthday... I don't want you fucking her.

--Jones Beach, New York

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Posted 2008-02-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Now in My Dotage, I Find Myself Embittered and Alone

12-year-old boy chasing group of younger kids: Damn punk kids! Damn disrespectful punk kids! When I was young, I had respect for my elders!

--Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia

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Posted 2008-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

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