That Makes Sense; I Never Jerk Off on Bad Hair Days

Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.

--Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mike

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Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

No, Dude! You Tell Her You Have a Permanent Banana She Can Have for Free!

Banana vendor: Bananas... Bananas... Two for a dollar! Bananas...
Topless girl in string bikini bottom: But I just need one...
Banana vendor: Why don't you eat the other one?

--South Korea

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Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

What's Worse Is, It's a Puddle of Her Own Pee

Drunk girl, rolling around in large puddle: It's a bird bath! Get in!
Angry guy: Get the fuck out of the puddle! You're not a goddamn bird!

--Bayard Avenue, Dewey Beach, Delaware

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Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

He Does Crazy Things During Full Moons

Queer: Josh! If you don't put your ass away right now, I'm gonna fuck it!

--Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue

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Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

My Doctor Told Me Some Sun Would Be Therapeutic for It

White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We're here for the pussy.

--South Beach, Miami, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Trick Question... They're All Equally Gross Once You Hit Thirty-Five

Teen girl #1: Oh my god, you can see his balls!
Teen girl #2: There's nothing grosser than dad-balls.
Teen girl #1: Grandpa-balls!

--Stoney, Michigan

Overheard by: Waggies

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Posted 2008-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

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