Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
I Have Had It with This Porn Shoot!
Girl #1: That motherfucker is totally going to hit us with his ball.
Girl #2: Assholes... They just don't know how to act.
Girl #1: Yeah, man. Shit, where's my top?
--Atlantic City, New Jersey
No, My Family Comes to See Me
Old man #1: This one girl, she let me play with myself.
Old man #2: Oh, yeah?
Old man #1: Yeah... And some of them even let you touch their tits.
Old man #2: Do you still go to Long Island for that?
--Compo Beach, Westport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Forgot my iPod
[Sigh] I Jack Off to Ideas a Lot
30-ish guy #1: I see you're sporting the side ponytail.
30-ish girl: Just for you!
30-ish guy #2: Yeah, I bet you're gonna jack off to that side ponytail.
30-ish guy #1: No! I jack off to the idea of the side ponytail. They're coming back, I tell ya!
--Summerfest, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the only sober person there
I'll Only Kiss You in Public Restrooms and Camera-Free Elevators
Chick #1: Why didn't you kiss me at the pool?!
Chick #2: Because I don't want to have an open relationship with you!
--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
The Purpose-Driven Life Made a Huge Impression on Me
Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo... I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.
--Ft. Walton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: If I didn't have to work the next day, I'd have invited her to party
And Stay Out of Iowa
Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin'? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I--
Black guy: --Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don't grow up to be like her, baby girl.
--Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s
Read the Previous Week's Quotes!
