What about That Guy Standing behind You Right Now Licking Your Asshole?

Woman #1: I haven't had sex in three years.
Woman #2: But what about your friend?
Woman #1: He doesn't count, because I don't enjoy it.

--Brittany Beach, France

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Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

At 40, after Three Failed In-Vitros, Kassidy Was to Remember This Conversation

Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?

--Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

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Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Miss Manners Says as Long as You Ask First, It's Okay

Queer: That guy sooo just checked you out.
Hot chick: Should I go over there and ask to sit on his face?
Queer: Bianca.
Hot chick: What? I'm horny!
Queer: Me, too, now that I think of it.

--Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

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Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

How the Johnson Family Bankrupted Frito-Lay

Mom: You cut your finger on a Cheetoh?

--Hotel pool, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

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Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Chloroform Never Leads to Love

Girl #1: I mean, I could force a relationship right now. I just don't want to.
Girl #2: Uh-huh.
Girl #1: We really don't have that much in common.
Girl #2: Uh-huh.

--Dewey Beach, Rehoboth, Delaware

Overheard by: Alaina

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Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

We'd Be Grifting on the Midway

Tank-topped boardwalk guy to friend: We're a different breed. If we were any closer to circus folk...

--Seaside Heights Boardwalk, Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: twoferrets

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Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

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