Overheard At The Beach http://www.overheardatthebeach.com Fri, 21 Oct 2016 05:11:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.1 You Need to Stay Abreast Of These Things, Ashley! http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/001641.html Fri, 21 Oct 2016 05:11:54 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1634 Girl #1, playing Taboo and giving clues for “big brother”: Ummm. I have two of them!
Girl #2: Hands? Eyes?
Girl #1: No! Um! Um! Big? Large?
Girl #2: Legs!
Girl #1: Oh my god! –Newcastle, Australia

Would This Lecture Be More Effective If I Demonstrated with a Raw Egg? http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/001055.html Thu, 20 Oct 2016 04:58:00 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1048 Man: Remember to say no to crack, Joseph. Okay?
Little boy: Huh? –Indiana Dunes State Park, Indiana Overheard by: Breet

So God Does Play Dice With the Universe! http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000192.html Wed, 19 Oct 2016 04:43:43 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=195 Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway. Brief pause. Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family. –Rehoboth, Delaware Overheard by: kristen

It's Important to Have Standards http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000133.html Tue, 18 Oct 2016 04:32:36 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=139 Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def. –Rockaway, New York Overheard by: A. D.

I'm Looking to Upgrade http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/001473.html Mon, 17 Oct 2016 04:22:35 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1466 Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers. –Lake Miramar, California Overheard by: El Meech

A Sales Pitch That's Almost As Shitty As Corona. http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/001739.html Sun, 16 Oct 2016 04:10:46 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=1732 Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #2: Ice cold water, beer! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #1: Yo, we need wigs.
Beach vendor #2: Next time I'm wearing a pirate costume, don't get it twisted.
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona, aargh! –Brighton Beach, New York

Is That What Happened to Neve Campbell? http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000573.html Sat, 15 Oct 2016 03:43:37 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=566 Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy. –Malibu, California Overheard by: Brandon

Their Brains Are in a League of Their Own http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000316.html Fri, 14 Oct 2016 03:20:52 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=317 Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who? Debate goes on for several minutes. Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie! –Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Teaching Your Kids to Levitate Via Negative Feedback http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000229.html Thu, 13 Oct 2016 03:14:19 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=231 Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand! –Long Beach, California Overheard by: gunky

Without Having to Open Your Eyes http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/000903.html Wed, 12 Oct 2016 03:04:22 +0000 http://beach.wpengine.com/?p=896 Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit. –Pacific Beach, California