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Dude, You Suck at "Yo Mama"
11-year-old Korean boy to 11-year-old Egyptian boy: You live in pyramid and you mummy!
--Christchurch, New Zealand
Overheard by: novalis
What Happens When You Give Your Number Out Too Often
Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
--Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Tonight's Movie: The Da Vinci Clod
Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?
--Tampa, Florida
...I Guess We Should Beat Him Up, Huh?
Teenage boy #1: Dude, look at that hot chick... And she's topless!
Teenage boy #2: That's a man in in a speedo, you idiot.
Teenage boy #1: Oh. (look of disgust)
--Long Beach, New York
...Aiight?
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you 'ask' someone, you have a question. When you 'axe' someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
It's Time for the U.S. to Normalize Relations With Cuba
Bikini blonde #1: I'm not dumb, I'm on vacation.
Bikini blonde #2: The ocean makes me wet.
--Varadero, Cuba
Overheard by: beach ginger
Lust and Nausea War Within Me
Girl: He's a whore. He's a huge, huge, well-hung whore.
--Atlantic City, New Jersey
Given the Creatures With Whom I've Been Cohabitating
Girl to friend: I've been so tired and hungry lately.
Friend: Maybe you're pregnant.
Girl: That's not funny at all. I'm not pro-abortion or anything, but I'd have to terminate that quick.
--San Diego, California
Overheard by: Brittany
Or Sunblock
Mother to screaming child throwing sachets of sugar: Do that again and you won't get a babycino.
--Café, Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Internet Porn: Explained
Guy on bus to friends: So the longer those titties were in front of me, the happier I became.
--Brisbane, Australia
Is Your Name Damien, by Any Chance?
Eight-year-old girl: Evil! The water is evil!
Older brother: Yippie ki yay!
--Mexico Beach, Florida
Overheard by: LULU
As Seen in La Vida Simple.
20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente!
--Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island
