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That's Your Answer to Everything!
Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.
--Playa Mia, Mexico
Overheard by: Peeto
...Have Some Fucking Family Fun!
Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let's go.
--Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I was scared
And Terrorists Are Da Bomb.
Eight-year-old boy to random adult: I want to be a terrorist just like my grandpa!
Shocked random adult: Wouldn't you rather be a police officer or a Texas Ranger or something?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don't get paaaaaid!
--New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Rachel Marie
You've Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn't fly away!
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Unlike the Cuntlefish
Little girl to parents: That octopus has lots of testicles!
--Apollo Bay, Victoria, Australia
Um, Birth?
Beach girl in group of people: Wait! Ellen DeGeneres is gay?! Since when?
--Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Colleen
...And a Much Better Pickpocket.
Tall skinny blonde with small Yorkie in her lap: I think she's become a better person since I've been friends with her.
--LaJolla, California
Well It Is a Dirty Photo.
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That's why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
--Deerfield Beach, Florida
...So You're An, Um, Member Of the Same Club.
Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There's no way he didn't know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?
--Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: The WC
...I Swear It Was a Valid CPR Technique!
Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?
--North Bondi, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Well, It Seems Like the Appropriate Thing to Do.
Girl #1: Can you stop touching your junk in front of me?
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #2: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #1: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #3: Can we touch each other's junk?
Boy, girl #1 and #2: What?
--Deerfield Beach
Florida
Your Girlfriend's a Lucky Gal, Sir
Hobo: Are you my girlfriend?
Girl walking by: No.
Hobo: I'mma piss on your shoe! I'mma piss on your shoe!
--Santa Monica, California
