Just As I'm Dropping Off to Sleep

Girlfriend: Why are you all pissed off?
Boyfriend: Some days you don't say shit to me, and then when I'm in a bad mood, you go and say some dumb shit out ya face.

--Coney Island

Overheard by: Dano


Posted 2010-08-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

There's a Fucking Version? My Life Is Complete!

Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.

--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina


Posted 2010-08-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...According to Fun Facts About Body Hair Quarterly

Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.

--Tampa, Florida


Posted 2010-08-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Aw, Don't Get Sore at Her.

Guy: So I went to the party last night... and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

--Holden Beach, North Carolina


Posted 2010-08-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

*Gasp*

30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.

--Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie


Posted 2010-08-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ad: Got Grandma?

Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!

--Clearwater Beach, Florida


Posted 2010-07-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...As My Science Fair Project.

Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I'm gonna like... Walk around school with my tits out all the time.

--South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: mar


Posted 2010-07-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Story Of My Life.

Mermaid to another: I'd be a lot less naked, but I just got sick of gluing seashells to myself.

--Mermaid Parade, Coney Island

Overheard by: shorty j


Posted 2010-07-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It Was at Once Zesty and Explosive!

Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?

--York Beach, Maine


Posted 2010-07-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I May Never Go Home Again

Young male Australian tourist on cell: We've already been to a service station and a McDonald's, which is different.

--Rotorua, New Zealand

Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald's in Australia?


Posted 2010-07-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hurry, They Stop Serving Passports at 11:00 A.M.!

Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.

--TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand

Overheard by: Makenzie


Posted 2010-07-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...That's How I Met You.

30 something guy standing at bar: So she asked me if I had ever slept with a stripper.
Friend: What did you say?
30 something guy: I told her the truth... I said "yeah, I slept with a stripper, of course."

--Austin, Texas


Posted 2010-07-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook