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If Gay People Disappeared, Straight People Would Miss Them
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!
--Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Anyone Else Feeling a Strange Nostalgia for The Golden Girls?
Little old lady, stumbling on the boardwalk with her husband: Oh my goodness! There's no railing on the edge? What? Someone could just fall right off! If they were as drunk as me, anyways.
--Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Caroline Oldfield
Fishing's Just Part Of the Circa Of Life
Teen girl, looking at historic photos of fishermen: So like, what's a "circa"?
Teen boy: That's a kind of fish. (pointing to photo) See, that's a circa. So's that...
--Pier, Naples, Florida
Overheard by: circa 1978
Then It Won't Bother You So Much When I Lick My Anus
Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
The Same Unhappy Paradox Applies to Drugs
Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.
--Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: byrneout
Hey, I've Seen You Eat Molten Chocolate Cake
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
--Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
Since You Can't Say, "Everything Looks Great on That Bitch"
Chick #1: You know what would be the hardest job in the world?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: To emcee a fashion show. Oh my god, that must be so hard.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah.
--Capitola, California
That's What John Said
Atheist: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... " (pause) Wow! I have no idea where that came from.
Bible-lover: Actually it's from the Bible: John, chapter 4, verse 18.
Atheist: Oh, fuck! Man...
--Hanover Beach, Indiana
Overheard by: triz3en
Your Editors Love That Puno Is on the Shore of Lake Titicaca
Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.
--Puno, Peru
Overheard by: 451
What? I Thought We Were Just Sharing Stuff
Bikini #1: What ocean is this beach on? Is it sad that I don't even know?
Bikini #2: No, I dunno either. I'm bad at history.
--Palm Beach, Florida
I'm Not Sure My Breasts Are Bouncy Enough for This
Girl in the ocean to onshore friend: Come out here! I'm like The Little Mermaid without Sebastian! I don't even have flounder!
Girl on shore: (shakes head no)
Girl in the ocean: Come on! You've seen Baywatch! Jog!
--Smith's Point, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Andi
This Is What Happens When We Don't Bring the Electric Collar
Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, finding Molly sitting quietly: Oh, there you are.
--Lewes Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: maybe next time, take Molly with you
