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Well Can I at Least Kick My Brother?
Little girl: Daddy, can I kick the birds?
Dad: No.
Little girl: Why not?
Dad: Birds are nice!
--Santa Monica, California
One Doesn't Expect Delays in Latin America
French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!
--Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: RaindanceRichard
Honestly, Is There Any Milk in a "Milkshake?"
Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Emmy
Overheard Editors: Is She One Of Us?
Little girl: Why is the ghost still here?
Dad: She just likes to come back and say hi from the spirit world.
Little girl: But why does she throw books?
Dad: She doesn't throw books, she just likes to read. And she's a little drunk.
--Hotel Del Coronado, San Diego, California
Hopefully Only Sorrows Will Be Drowned Today.
Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.
--Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida
Such a Small Area, So Many Problems
20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn't go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there's Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we're going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
...Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?
--Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
You Still Need a Haircut
Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!
--Hillcrest, California
Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
--West Palm Beach, Florida
Raise Your Hand If You're Sick Of Eminem
Sweaty dude on boardwalk: I wrote a poem the other day. Wanna hear it?
Sweaty female companion, jogging away: Aw, hell no!
--Tampa, Florida
Teenage Girls: Encapsulated.
14-year-old girl to friends: Yeah, I'm not a whore... I'm just popular.
--Clearwater Beach, Florida
Is It My Turn to Talk?
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
--Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
