At the Ignorant American Semifinals

Boy #1: What's a turban?
Boy #2: It's what terrorists wear.
Boy #1: Is that common knowledge? (ties beach towel around his head)

--Bridgehampton, New York

Overheard by: CCW


Posted 2011-06-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A George Clooney Movie and Half a Pint Of Ben and Jerry's?

Girl: Let's eat here, it's better value.
Boy: More satisfying?
Girl: No. What satisfies me, they don't sell here.

--Sushi Bar, Gold Coast, Australia


Posted 2011-06-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sure It's Not the Sweet Pangs Of Love?

Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated... 'cause you're an asshole!

--South Beach Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod


Posted 2011-06-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...But, to Be Fair, There Are Douchebags Everywhere.

Big burly tattooed Bostonian man: They found 'em in Jersey and Lake Michigan.

--Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea


Posted 2011-06-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We'll Never Understand the Russian Zodiac

Old man to wife, in Russian: What sign are you?
Woman: I'm a fish.
Old man: Shark, son of a bitch.

--Hallandale Beach Boulevard, Florida

Overheard by: superemanuella


Posted 2011-06-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Except on a Hot Day When I'm Looking for Shade

Teenage girl: I hate my sister so much... She's so fat! And I just really hate fat people.

--Cedar Creek Beach, Nebraska


Posted 2011-06-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Gatorade Grows on You.

Guy: This tastes like nuclear horse piss!

--Jones Beach Theater, New York


Posted 2011-06-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Must Now Take 300 Digital Photographs

Tourist woman, looking at bushes of rose hips: Oh! Look at all the baby tomatoes!

--Horseneck Beach, Massachusetts


Posted 2011-06-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Ketchup

American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin ... Mine is Europe, every time!

--Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea

Overheard by: Vennfix


Posted 2011-06-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...With Your Penis Being the Obvious Exception.

Girl playing volleyball, as guy switches to her teach to even up sides: I promise we won't suck too much...

--Adelaide, Australia


Posted 2011-06-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

One Day You, Too, Can Be a Douchebag!

Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don't know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn't intimidate you; it should inspire you.

--Sag Harbor, New York

Overheard by: the lerpa


Posted 2011-06-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...I'm Writing a Letter to My Congressman.

Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one "n" or two?

--Ferry, Fire Island, New York


Posted 2011-05-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook