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What "Tubthumping'" Is About
Guy to son, pouring Hawaiian punch into kids cup: Boy, you gonna be pissin' tonight!
--Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Sandwich
Worst. Facial. Ever.
Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!
--Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Narwhal
If You Tell Me to Diversify My Portfolio One More Time...
Mother to five-year-old: I don't want to hear your shit!
--Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Luminesce
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Biology
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
--Starbucks, Santa Barbara
That's What You Said About the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria
Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.
--South Haven, Michigan
That's What You Said About Tech Support!
Teenage Indian boy to friends running across hot sand: My people do this, so I should be able to also!
--Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Rachel
Wow, Am I Lost
Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.
--Portland, Maine
Your Editors Would Totally Buy a Bracelet
Bedouin girl selling bracelets: Where you from?
Canadian tourist: You are so cute, I am from Canada!
Bedouin girl: Canada dry, never die, Canada dry, never die. You buy bracelet?
--Dahab, Egpyt
Sometimes He Claps with Them!
Drunk dude to another: Yeah, my dad has really big thighs!
--Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: i dont know
One Expects Better Of Florida White Girls
Teen girl #1: Ew! I didn't even know they had movies like this here!
Teen girl #2: What? Wedding Wars?
Teen girl #1, whispering: It's a gay movie! It's all about gay people!
Teen girl #2: Is not! It's just a comedy! (picks up the case and flips it over)
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Put it down!
Teen girl #2: You're such a racist.
--Blockbuster, New Tampa, Florida
Note to Self: Steal Dog, Feed to Sharks
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.
--Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Mom Rates Them on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like "mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?"
--Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
