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...Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?
--Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
You Still Need a Haircut
Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!
--Hillcrest, California
Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
--West Palm Beach, Florida
Raise Your Hand If You're Sick Of Eminem
Sweaty dude on boardwalk: I wrote a poem the other day. Wanna hear it?
Sweaty female companion, jogging away: Aw, hell no!
--Tampa, Florida
Teenage Girls: Encapsulated.
14-year-old girl to friends: Yeah, I'm not a whore... I'm just popular.
--Clearwater Beach, Florida
Is It My Turn to Talk?
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
--Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
You Should Stay Out Of Kraft Singles Bars
Woman #1: And I gave him the cheese. Then he said he'd kill me. And he told me exactly how he'd kill me.
Woman #2: That's horrible!
--Miami, Florida
Overheard by: ...what?
A Metaphor for the Economy
Hobo: Happy holidays! Skate or die!
--Pacific Beach Boardwalk, San Diego, California
Overheard by: OB Dave
I'd Hoped to Be Fat in My Own Way
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
--3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
If Not As Much As Your Daughter.
Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.
--Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Marissa
...Have You Ever Played Second Life?
Dirty surfer to disinterested hippie girl: I mean, I do something for the military that nobody else does, no one has ever been able to do. It's tracking a submarine, underwater, tracking exactly where it is and where it goes, without using sonar, or any technology, or detection devices. They don't know how I do it, and I won't tell them, but I do it. I've won awards for it.
--Ala Moana Blvd. honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
We Also Would Have Accepted: "...But It Just Got Better"
Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay?
--Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Nikki
