Overheard at the Beach

I'll Just Have the Sweetbread.

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Teen girl having dinner: Ew! Escargot has snails!

--Carnival Cruise Ship

Overheard by: Alix

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-20

And They Keep Accidentally Driving Me Back Over the Border

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.

--Huatulco, Mexico

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-19

I Can Tell Because It Is Still Full

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Cop, pointing to trash can filled rim with beer and alcohol bottles: Are all of these yours?
Tall man, pointing to one lone bottle: Well, that one's not mine.

--Belmar, New Jersey

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-18

A+ Nose-Picking, Though.

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail!

--Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-17

Shark: Ralph, Do You Have to Play the Jaws Theme Non-Stop?

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle...
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!

--Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Jonica Grompson

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-16

Jesus, What Do You Have to Do to Get Exiled from New Jersey?

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Little boy: Why do you live in New York now?
Uncle: Well, the family don't love me anymore.
Little boy: Huh? But...?
Uncle: Yeah, but you're lucky, they still love you. If they didn't, you'd have to live in New York with me.

--Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kate-in-Oz

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-15

You've Never Ordered from Papa Johannesburg's?

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.

--Mt. Clemens, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-13

What? It's Really Fat.

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Little boy standing at pier railing, looking at beach: Look, dad! I can see America from here!

--Seal Beach Pier, California

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-12

Another Fake Place

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Guy #1: You're from Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: I thought that place was fake. I didn't know it was a real place.
Guy #2: Borat is from England.

--Miami Beach

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-11

Just Brain Cells? Whew!

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Guy on cell: Did you just say you killed somebody?!

--Waikiki, Hawaii

Overheard by: gavin

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-10

Have You Tried Sleeping With Guys Who Like You?

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.

--Belmar Beach, New Jersey

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-09

But If You Keep Drinking, They Refuse to Open at All

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.

--Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Danny

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-08

Winter In Maine Is ...Less Than Exciting

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper...

--All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-06

They Pump in The "Surf" White Noise To Mute Conversations

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.

--Blemar Beach, New Jersey

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-05

If He Really Cared, He'd Keep You Chained to the Radiator

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:00:00 -0500

Middle aged woman: And, like, you can just tell he doesn't truly love her or respect her as a woman because he lets her go out like that. I mean, my husband will always tell me to put a t-shirt on under something that's too low-cut, 'cause he doesn't want anyone staring. Now he loves me.

--Malibu, California

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Link · Email · Quote this! · Del.icio.us · Posted 2010-03-04