We're Even Outsourcing Our Urban Menace

Thug #1: You goin’ in the water or you not?
Chick: I wanna go in the water, but I need yo’ shirt!
Thug #1: You’s like the Mexicans sayin’ they wanna cross the fence to get to the U.S. Just climb over it!
Thug #2: They cross the river! Them Mexicans turn cars into boats and float across! They must been watchin’ Monster Garage when they turned the VW Bug into a boat!
Thug #1: You not gettin’ my t-shirt — go in the water!
Chick, turning to Thug #1′s toddler son: Can I have your jersey? You have a shirt under it! I wanna go in the water!
Toddler: No!
Thug #2: That thing was sick. They turned that car into a boat and floated across! –Plum Island, Massachusetts Overheard by: Megan

Every Drug Needs Evangelists

Girl running along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black lady on beach blanket: Hallelujah! Come here, baby! Girl runs to black lady, who stands and hugs her and kisses her. Black lady: Smoke weed, God bless you! –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: t-money

Wait, So if I Take My Shirt Off, You Can See Through It?

Two girls are dancing in their car, while listening to ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom.’ Driver’s seat: Dude, I wonder if people are staring at us right now.
Passenger’s seat: We’re in a car. No one can see us! We have tinted windows!
Driver’s seat: Dude. All the windows are down. –Spring Lake, New Jersey Overheard by: Thank god I have a high IQ