The Court Reporter Will Read the Witness's Previous Testimony

Girl #1: Do you think before you speak?
Girl #2: Well, sometimes I just run my mouth off and hope what I’m saying is true. But then I figure, if it’s not, who’s going to call me on it?
Girl #1: So…tell me about what happened last night again?
Girl #2: Wait, what did I tell you? I don’t remember if I lied. –Dewey Beach, Delaware Overheard by: Chel Sea

A+ Nose-Picking, Though.

Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail! –Long Beach Island, New Jersey Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman

What's More Flattering Than Becoming Whacking Material?

Cute brunette in black bikini to boyfriend: Can we go? There's a guy over there filming us.
Boyfriend: Where?
Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creeper!
(a few minutes after)
Brunette's female friend: White shorts is going in the water. I hope he gets his camera wet.
Brunette: It's actually kinda flattering.
Boyfriend: First you're all insulted, and now your flattered. Pfft! –Beach, Chicago, Illinois