Blonde: … So as soon as we got home from spring break I told my boyfriend that I had sex with Brad on the beach.
Friend: Oh my gosh! What did your boyfriend do?!
Blonde: He said, ‘I guess we’re not riding in Brad’s limo for prom.’
Friend: What’s wrong with Brad’s limo?!
–St. Augustine beach, Florida
Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.
–The Bahamas
Overheard by: Fake sand maker
Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.
–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
- Posted on January 22, 2024
- Compare and contrast, Delaware, Food, Girls, Homosexuality, Nerds and geeks, Penis, Size, Stoners, Vagina
Fake tanned, bleach blonde woman loudly into phone: I mean, have you seen Alice lately? Forget the Brazilian wax, she needs to have the whole South American!
–Manly Beach, Sydney
Overheard by: anotherpassenger
- Posted on January 21, 2024
- Australia, Hair, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Women
Chick #1: Is it just me, or does that baby over there have really broad shoulders?
Chick #2: Maybe you should get his number.
–Oscoda, Michigan
Overheard by: Kate
- Posted on January 20, 2024
- Advice, Body parts, Friends, Michigan
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
- Posted on January 19, 2024
- Body parts, Comebacks, Cops, Gripes, Guys, North Carolina, Offers and requests
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
- Posted on January 18, 2024
- Age and ageing, Comebacks, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, New Jersey, Size, Weather
Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
- Posted on January 18, 2024
- BJs, Body parts, Drinking, Kids, New Jersey, Teens, Weirdness
Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.
–The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The JAP
- Posted on January 17, 2024
- Advice, Baristas, Comebacks, Compliments, Florida, Girls, Gripes, Moms, Physical Appearance, Rack
