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And Let's Not Even Talk About Where They're Putting It!
Little kid, running in tears: I'm in the twilight zone! Adults are playing with sand!
--Coney Island Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ksenka
Dear God, What Have I Done?
Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn't that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That's "scallions," you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it's a scalp... you're both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
--Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll
Ooo, and If We Went to the Hairdresser and Got Bangs...
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say "I got stoned in Miami"
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
--Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida
A Portrait Of the Cat Lady As a Young Girl
Tween: The cute ones are not nice, the nice ones are not cute, and the cute & nice ones are gay.
--Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Trixie
Being a Lifeguard Can Get Pretty Boring
Lifeguard, replacing new in-service flags: We should have flags with skull and crossbones on them. That way, when someone comes and asks what the flag is for we can say, "oh there's a 50% chance of a pirate attack, you probably want to leave the beach."
--Huguenot Beach, Jacksonville, Florida
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