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When Californian Children Are Born to Otherwise Normal Canadian Parents
Teenage girl in expensive yoga pants to meek mother: Move to France? Why the hell would I move to France? That's the dumbest thing I've heard you say in, like, forever. Stop trying to live your, like, stupid dreams and stuff through me!
--Coffee Shop in the Beach, Toronto, Canadia
Then You Have a Lot to Learn About Pink Leg-Warmers, Bobby.
Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.
--Florida
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Saturn, for Instance, Has Universal Healthcare
Activist #1: Hey girls, want to save the world together?
Girl #1: Ummmm...
Activist #2: Do you like our planet?
Girl #2: Eh, I've been to better. Thanks, but no thanks.
--Seal Beach, California
Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Hey, I've Seen You Eat Molten Chocolate Cake
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
--Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
A Lesson Every Proper Young Lady Must Eventually Learn
Girl #1: You need to learn to give off a "piss off" vibe. Follow my lead.
Girl #2 (to drunk groping her): If you fucking touch me one more time I'll cut off your balls!
Girl #1: Or just do that...
--Bondi Beach, Australia
They Never Call
Little girl to friend, after being put back into standing position by a wave: Haha! That wave just knocked me up!
--Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
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