Totally Alsome Quotes

See the bottom of the list for the latest additions!

Like a quote? Get it on a shirt!

See, It's Sacred, and that's Why the Gays Don't Deserve It

Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I'll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he's mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So... Can I meet you later, then?

--Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: eager ears

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

'Dear Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey...'

Guy #1: The only problem I have with [my Blackberry] is when I have to type in French.
Guy #2: Oh. My problem with typing in French is that I hate everyone that I'm addressing. --Jones Beach, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

A Dog Peed on Me When I was a Baby, and I Have Sworn Revenge

Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand... so I can murder it!

--Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Willy

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

The Earth Turns Blue and Moves

Tourist guy: How will we know when we get to the beach?
Bus driver, staring at him: I think you'll figure it out.

--Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: SYDNEYGUY

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

It's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Little girl: Mommy, what's that red stuff in your bathing suit?

--Public bathroom, Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: Arya

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Because She's Already Too Smart For Cornell

Dad: What grows in the marsh, baby?
Little girl: Marshmallows?
Dad, to mom: You want her to go to what college?

--Tybee Island, Georgia

Overheard by: Sullivan

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

...We'll Come Down From the Acid

German: We'll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day...

--Los Angeles, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

And This Next Slide Is Me on Mars...

Chinese guy #1, taking picture: It's too bad the American flag is fluttering in the background.
Chinese guy #2, posing for the shot: Don't worry, I'll photoshop it to a Chinese flag on my computer.

Translated from the Chinese.

--Laguna Beach, California

Overheard by: Jackie

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

...and He's Living With Jose.

Mom: Stop staring at that woman's chest.
Tween boy: Dad said it's okay to look as long as I don't touch.
Mom: That's why we aren't married anymore.

--Jax Beach, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook