Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL

Man to friends: He's a pyromaniac from way back.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bonnie

Teen girl having dinner: Ew! Escargot has snails!

–Carnival Cruise Ship

Overheard by: Alix

Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!

–Jersey Shore

Kid: If a tornado comes, will our beach be destroyed?
Mom: No. Tornadoes don’t come to the beach.
Kid: Why not? We’re better than Kansas, and that place got leveled!

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.

–Huatulco, Mexico

10-year-old girl: My virgin arms! My virgin arms!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Confused

Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!

–Tampa, Florida

Native man: This is where Hawaiians come to celebrate a child’s first birthday with a luau. All the family comes to have a three-day party by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get started?
Native man: To protect the babies from the missionaries who loved to eat plump Hawaiian babies.
Tourist, shocked: That wasn’t in my tour book.
Native man: It’s something we keep quiet to protect the white missionaries.

–Kohala, Hawaii

Overheard by: BLondie

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California