Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen?

–Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: KP

Guy #1: I can't believe he left us!
Guy #2: Yeah, me either. It really sucks being stuck on this fucking island with no hot chicks. I don't have a fucking shirt and I'm freezing my balls off!
Guy #1: Yeah, I know what you mean.

–St. Petersburg, Florida

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Incredibly preppy college student: Oh my god! We're on the bus! This is where the magic happens!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Bemused High School Student

Tourist: Hey, the water is coming up really high.
Local: Yeah, it’s definitely a high tide today.
Tourist: How come it does that? I mean, what makes the water come up so high?
Local: Well, let’s just say it has a lot to do with the moon.

–Pismo-Oceano Dunes, California

Overheard by: janie

Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL

Man to friends: He's a pyromaniac from way back.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bonnie

Teen girl having dinner: Ew! Escargot has snails!

–Carnival Cruise Ship

Overheard by: Alix

Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!

–Jersey Shore

Kid: If a tornado comes, will our beach be destroyed?
Mom: No. Tornadoes don’t come to the beach.
Kid: Why not? We’re better than Kansas, and that place got leveled!

–Jacksonville Beach, Florida