Teen #1: … And then I got, like, swept out into the Pacific! It was so scary!
Teen #2: Don’t you mean the Atlantic?
Teen #1: Oh, yeah.
Teen #3: You guys are retards. That’s the Gulf of Mexico!
Teens #1 and #2: Ohhh.

–St. Simons Island, Georgia

Overheard by: just out for a walk

Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Antzolino

Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mike

Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…

–Auckland, New Zealand

Overheard by: Shakira

Junk jewelry salesman: Come on in here and see our stuff, señorita! We rip you off less!

Overheard by: tee

–Open air market, Tijuana

Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.

–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Beeeej

Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.

–Mt. Clemens, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Girl: We need to date boys who are smart and rich. Our boyfriends are stupid and poor and don’t even have the same wireless provider as us.

–Laguna Beach, California

Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.

–Santa Cruz, California