Guy selling belly and tongue rings: If you got the hole, we got the thing for it!

–Coney Island, New York

Professor #1: Where are you going?
Professor #2, with group of freshmen: Oh, y’know, Friday afternoon — just heading down to the bar.
Professor #1: Um…
Professor #2: The sand bar.

–Eckerd College, St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: I love my major.

Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.

–Palos Verdes, California

JAP #1: Okay, seriously, he is the hottest senior ever.
JAP #2: Hah, yeah he is.
JAP #1: Like, you don’t understand — I would fuck his toe if he asked me to.

–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: lilly

Dude #1: All I'm saying is, at some point she'll be 23 and damn sexy.
Dude #2: You have a good point.

–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York

Overheard by: sas

Boater #1: Look at all the geese! Will they move out of the way of the boat?
Boater #2: Of course they’ll move. They’re just like birds.

–Lake Erie, Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Beth

Girl to younger boy: You’re going to be a real lady killer when you’re older.
Younger boy: I’ll kill men, too. I don’t care.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Brittney

Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.

–Pacific Palisades, California

Overheard by: ear of the betafish

Guy to Dachshund: Sit!
Girl: He doesn't really need to sit, he is so close to the ground.

–Tampa, Florida

Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me.

–Treasure Island Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Sara