Small boy to friend while riding their bikes: So, are you on your second pair of underwear yet?

–Pinery Provincial Park, Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: debbie

Teen girl #1: God, I hate when people bring their cell phones to the beach.
Teen girl #2: I have my cell phone at the beach right now.
Teen girl #1: Me too.

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Man to family: You should have seen her! She was pooping sandcastles!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris

Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn't fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I'd let him in right in me, yeah I would!

–Santa Cruz, California

Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who's Tyler?

–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana

Kid: Mom, where are we going?
Mom: Just walk straight!
Kid: Where’s straight?!

–Robert Moses Beach, New York

Overheard by: Gwast

Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.

–Sea Isle, New Jersey

Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water

Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.

–Puno, Peru

Overheard by: 451

Drunk woman screaming into a smoke shop: There's a bunch of whores out here! Whooooooo!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Nidonemo

Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!

–Caroga Lake, New York

Overheard by: Marc Wiley