Little boy: I don't want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that's the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!

–Byron Bay, Australia

Girl to friend: He was upset because she wouldn't let him cum on her face!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

40-something guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Chick in bikini: Oh, I have a long list of things…
40-something guy: Stripper?
Chick in bikini, hardly offended: Do I look like I have the body of a stripper?
40-something guy: That’s why I asked.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Little boy, floating on his back: Look at me! I’m the slowest boat in life!

–Valley Falls, Vernon, Connecticut

Overheard by: your parents must be so proud

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Girl #1: What do you say when people ask about me?
Girl #2: “She's a narcissistic freak.”
Girl #1: What kind of narcissist am I?
Girl #2: (stares blankly)
Girl #1: A pretty oneee.
Girl #2: You want me to lie to you?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Just kidding–you're not not pretty.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You're saying I'm not ugly but I'm not pretty.
Girl #2: You're in limbo between pretty and ugly, so being mean to me makes you ugly.

–Kure Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bee

British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!

–Miami Beach, Florida

Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: —No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.

–Hotel, Sydney, Australia

Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.

–San Clemente Beach, California

Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid