Girl gives little boy a ball.

Little boy: Good looks.
Girl: Good looks?
Little boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: sparky

Tourist: Where do they put the sand in the winter?
Local, sarcastically: Oh, they put it in bags and store it in the convention center.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: OC local

Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Spring breaker girls to group of 30-something guys: Hey, you guys want us to take your picture for you?
Guys: Huh?
Girls: Do you want us to take the shot?
Guys: A shot? Tequila? You girls like patron? Waitress! Shots!
Girls: Wow, that was easy…

–Key West, Florida

Lady #1: You can take that dog on board?
Lady #2: Sure, but he has to be small enough to fit under the seat in front of you. And you have to pay 75 dollars for each leg.
Lady #1: 75 dollars for each leg of the dog?!

–Tampa airport, Florida

Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight-year-old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other's butts.

–Guam

Overheard by: Nadine

Eight-year-old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ashley

Drunk girl: I think I am sexually attracted to fire.
Sober girl: Yeah…let me know how that goes.
Drunk girl: It burns, but I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Dude #1: You know how your girlfriend does that thing with her tongue?
Dude #2: I’ve talked to her about that.

–St. Augustine, Florida

Two girls are dancing in their car, while listening to ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom.’

Driver’s seat: Dude, I wonder if people are staring at us right now.
Passenger’s seat: We’re in a car. No one can see us! We have tinted windows!
Driver’s seat: Dude. All the windows are down.

–Spring Lake, New Jersey

Overheard by: Thank god I have a high IQ