Girl #1, in shade: Wanna go down to the water?
Girl #2: Sure!
Girl #2, in water: Wanna go back to the tree?
Girl #1: Yeah. I do.

–Sydney, Australia

Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Frenchie

Guy: Does my face smell like vagina?
Girl: I doubt it [sniffs his face]. Well, maybe a little.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Middle-aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle-aged man #2: Good.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Bunny

Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.

–Crane Beach, Massachusetts

Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.

–Crane Beach, Massachusetts

Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.

–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Killsborough

Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.

–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Rebecca

Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!

–Brighton Beach, New York

Black man to extremely dark black woman: Come out of the shade! Don't you want to get tan?

–Aruba

Overheard by: Cassidy